MARITAL VIOLENCE AND HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM

     Mistreatment in the context of the married couple is a complicated problem due to the following reasons:

1.     it is more common than we imagine.  It is quite  widespread, even          though victims are usually  silent.  It is present in all social                      groups, and in all professions, cultures and religions.

2.     The aggressor rarely changes and, in spite of  promises, tends to              repeat the behaviour.

3.     The aggressor suffers from low self-esteem and                                   compensates for this need by intimidating and hitting the                                                                      spouse.  This sense of  power/authority favours relapse.

4.     The attacker blames the victim, arguing that she provoked him to violence.

5.     the victim experiences feelings of anxiety, despair, guilt, fear and shame.  He/she denies the problem,             holds onto false hopes of a solution, keeps quite and perpetuates the suffering.

6.     The victim does not realize the high level of risk he/she is taking.  and if she realises, she does not                    believe there is a way out and does not know what to do or to whom to go.

The following are Preventive Measures

     Prevention should occur from several fronts: the victim, the perpetrator who wishes to recover, and                friends and family of the couple.

1.     The Victim

     -   Do not take signs and warnings lightly, access your risks and seek help if you are in danger.

     -   Speak about this with an intimate friend or someone close to you.

     -   Observe your partner and the changes in his personality, word, messages, accusations, etc. that may             announce violence.

     -    Prepare an emergency plan to protect yourself and your children in case of need.

     -    Arrange for a place of refuge in case things get complicated, eg. the house of someone you trust.

2.     The Aggressor

     -   Examine the consequences that may result from your behaviour.

     -   Admit that you have a problem and that you need to seek professional help.

3.     The Close Friend or Family of the Victim

      -   Do not judge nor criticize her attitude or inability to face the problem

      -   Spend time listening to her to understand her and to help her.

      -   Encourage her and let her know that she is not alone and she should not blame herself.

      -   Offer practical help: her children, her work, looking for a lawyer, for a refuge, etc.

      -   When advising, consider her personal safety and that of her children.

      -    Be patient, as changes may be quite slow.

How to solve the Problem

     In the first stages of marital violence, solution to the problem should be attempted through psychological intervention.

     These are examples of psychological treatment for the perpetrator:

     -   Thought control.  The aggressive husband must learn to identify thought content preceding violence.               Impulses tend to follow negative thoughts towards his wife or after having observed some detail that               he dislikes in her.  When such thoughts take over his mind, he needs to reject them and adopt non-              dangerous thoughts.  He can also instruct himself:  'Calm down, go take a walk to relax yourself.

    -    Behavioural plan.  The behaviour of the aggressor tends to feed itself with details, events, observations          or behaviours that serve as stimuli.  The goal is to identify these and avoid them.  In this way, the chain          leaving to the violence is broken.  This stimuli may be certain types of readings or movies, the company          of someone else, the use of alcoholic beverages, visiting certain places or the submissive attitude of the          victim-spouse.

    -   Self-concept enhancement.  The perpetrator normally suffers from serious self-esteem deficiencies and          needs to develop self-esteem in a healthy manner.  He needs to embark upon constructive tasks that              bring self-confidence.  He also needs words and gestures of approval when he manages to do things              well and when he makes progress towards the freedom from aggressive behaviour.

         Likewise, the victim needs to introduce changes to support her husband's recovery or to leave the                  relationship if necessary:

   -    Self-esteem development.  It is necessary that the victim, in spite of her situation, be reassured that she          has dignity, talent, and possesses value and desirable qualities.  she needs to focus on such ideas and            reject all adverse thoughts towards herself.

   -    Practice assertiveness.  She should gain practice in communicating with her husband, in a correct and           firm manner, the limits - Zero aggressive behaviour.  She also needs to establish in clear terms what the         consequence would be if he goes beyond the limit.

   -    Prepare a way out from the crisis.  Women who are victims of abuse need to have a concrete plan to           abandon the relationship with guarantee or personal safety in case he does not respect the ultimatum.             Someone should be near to guide her through these difficult steps.  When the abusive behaviour does             not cease, the alternative is of a legal and social nature.  The perpetrator is accused and may be                     arrested and processed in a court of law.  The victim needs advice to seek the most appropriate steps           in her particular situation.  The abused spouse is offered refuge by local authorities, non-governmental            organisations, or churches, in order to keep her and her children safe and to provide for their physical           and emotional needs.

The Male Victim

     More than 95% of cases of violence in couples are perpetrated by males upon females.  However, there are situations where the male is victim of female violence.  Typically, these are the steps followed by the male victim:

-    The woman dominates her husband with her              words, actions and attitudes.  She shouts, insults         and blames her husband.

-    Verbal violence is transformed into physical                violence and she hit, slams or kicks her                   husband.

-    Even if he is stronger, he does not react violently.       Using physical force on a woman would be               abusive or  cowardice.

-    He feels uncomfortable in her presence and prefers to be away; he needs time to be alone and at peace.

-    Psychological (rather than physical) pain increases because of the treatment received at the hand of his           partner.

-    He feels deep embarrassment and keeps quite so that nobody finds out his humiliating situation.

-    He thinks that if he were to tell people, they would probably not believe him and/ or they would make fun      of him.

Joan Fontaine dies at 96

Academy Award-winning actress Joan Fontaine, who found stardom playing naive wives in Alfred Hitchcock's "Suspicion" and "Rebecca" and also was featured in films by Billy Wilder, Fritz Lang and Nicholas Ray, died Sunday. She was 96.

Fontaine, the sister of fellow Oscar winner Olivia de Havilland, died in her sleep in her Carmel, Calif., home Sunday morning, said longtime friend Noel Beutel. Fontaine had been fading in recent days and died "peacefully," Beutel said.

In her later years, Fontaine had lived quietly at her Villa Fontana estate about 5 miles south of Carmel, enjoying its spectacular view of wind-swept Point Lobos.

Fontaine's pale, soft features and frightened stare made her ideal for melodrama and she was a major star for much of the 1940s. For Hitchcock, she was a prototype of the uneasy blondes played by Kim Novak in "Vertigo" and Tippi Hedren in "The Birds" and "Marnie." The director would later say he was most impressed by Fontaine's restraint. She would credit George Cukor, who directed her in "The Women," for urging her to "think and feel and the rest will take care of itself."

Fontaine appeared in more than 30 movies, including early roles in "The Women" and "Gunga Din," the title part in "Jane Eyre" and in Max Ophuls' historical drama "Letter from an Unknown Woman." She was also in films directed by Wilder ("The Emperor Waltz"), Lang ("Beyond a Reasonable Doubt") and, wised up and dangerous, in Ray's "Born to be Bad." She starred on Broadway in 1954 in "Tea and Sympathy" and in 1980 received an Emmy nomination for her cameo on the daytime soap "Ryan's Hope."

"You know, I've had a helluva life," Fontaine once said. "Not just the acting part. I've flown in an international balloon race. I've piloted my own plane. I've ridden to the hounds. I've done a lot of exciting things."

Fontaine had minor roles in several films in the 1930s, but received little attention and was without a studio contract when she was seated next to producer David O. Selznick at a dinner party near the decade's end. She impressed him enough to be asked to audition for "Rebecca," his first movie since "Gone With the Wind" and the American directorial debut of Hitchcock.

Just as seemingly every actress had tried out for Scarlett O'Hara, hundreds applied for the lead female role in "Rebecca," based on Daphne du Maurier's gothic best-seller about haunted Maxim de Winter and the dead first wife — the title character — he obsesses over. With Laurence Olivier as Maxim, Fontaine as the unsuspecting second wife and Judith Anderson as the dastardly housekeeper Mrs. Danvers, "Rebecca" won the Academy Award for best picture and got Fontaine the first of her three Oscar nominations.

"Miss Du Maurier never really convinced me any one could behave quite as the second Mrs. de Winter behaved and still be sweet, modest, attractive and alive," The New York Times' Frank Nugent wrote upon the film's release.

"But Miss Fontaine does it not simply with her eyes, her mouth, her hands and her words, but with her spine. Possibly it's unethical to criticize performances anatomically. Still we insist Miss Fontaine has the most expressive spine — and shoulders we've bothered to notice this season."

"Rebecca" made her a star, but she felt as out of place off screen as her character was in the film. She remembered being treated cruelly by Olivier, who openly preferred his then-lover Vivien Leigh for the role, and being ignored by the largely British cast. Her uncertainty was reinforced by Hitchcock, who would insist that he was the only one who believed in her.

Hitchcock's "Suspicion," released in 1941, and featuring Fontaine as the timid woman whose husband (Cary Grant) may or may not be a killer, brought her a best actress Oscar and dramatized one of Hollywood's legendary feuds, between Fontaine and de Havilland, a losing nominee for "Hold Back the Dawn."

Competition for the prize hardened feelings that had apparent roots in childhood ("Livvie" was a bully, Joan an attention hog) and endured into old age, with Fontaine writing bitterly about her sister in the memoir "No Bed of Roses" and telling one reporter that she could not recall "one act of kindness from Olivia all through my childhood." While they initially downplayed any problems, tension was evident in 1947 when de Havilland came offstage after winning her first Oscar, for "To Each His Own." Fontaine came forward to congratulate her and was rebuffed. Explained de Havilland's publicist: "This goes back for years and years, ever since they were children."

While Fontaine topped her sister in 1941, and picked up a third nomination for the 1943 film "The Constant Nymph," de Havilland went on to win two Oscars and was nominated three other times.

Fontaine was featured in "Jane Eyre" with Orson Welles and she and Bing Crosby got top billing in "Emperor Waltz." A few other Fontaine films: "Bed of Roses," ''A Damsel In Distress," ''Blonde Cheat," ''Ivanhoe," ''You've Gotta Stay Happy" and "You Can't Beat Love." Her most daring role came in the 1957 film "Island in the Sun," in which she had an interracial romance with Harry Belafonte. Several Southern cities banned the movie after threats from the Ku Klux Klan.

Fontaine said she left Hollywood because she was asked to play Elvis Presley's mother. "Not that I had anything against Elvis Presley. But that just wasn't my cup of tea," she said.

While making New York her home for 25 years, she appeared in about 30 dinner theater plays. She also appeared twice on Broadway, replacing Deborah Kerr in the hit 1953 drama "Tea and Sympathy" and Julie Harris in the long-running 1968 comedy "Forty Carats." She joked once about being burglarized in the Big Apple.

"All the jewelry I lost came from me," she said. "Somehow I was the kind of a girl to whom husbands — and other men, too — gave copper frying pans. I never could quite figure it out."

In 1966, Fontaine starred in "The Devil's Own." In 1978, she played a socialite in the made-for-TV movie based on Joyce Haber's steamy novel, "The Users." In the '70s and '80s she appeared on the television series such as "The Love Boat," ''Cannon," and in "Ryan's Hope."

Show business had come naturally. Besides her Oscar-winning sister, her mother, Lillian Fontaine, appeared in more than a dozen films.

Fontaine was born Joan de Havilland in 1917 in Tokyo, where her British parents lived. Both she and her sister, born in 1916, were sickly, and their mother hoped a change of climate would improve their health when she moved the family to California in 1919 after the breakup of her marriage.

"There was always something wrong with me," Fontaine recalled. "For a while I averaged about two days a week in school. I had headaches, I had all kinds of pains. I was kept away from other children, never allowed to do the things they did."

She returned to East Asia at the age of 15, taking up amateur theatricals and studying art. After returning to California, Fontaine appeared in a play called "Call It A Day" in Los Angeles in 1937, gaining the attention of an agent who signed her to her first film, "Quality Street." Her sister was already an established film actress. Fontaine changed her last name, taking that of her mother's second husband.

She married four times. Fontaine's first husband was actor Brian Aherne; the second, film executive William Dozier; the third, film producer Collin Hudson Young. The ex-husband of actress Ida Lupino, Young produced "The Bigamist," with Lupino and Fontaine starring and Lupino directing. Fontaine's last husband was Sports Illustrated golf editor Alfred Wright Jr.

Dozier and Fontaine had a daughter, Deborah Leslie, whose godmother was actress Maureen O'Sullivan. Fontaine later adopted a child from Peru, Maritita Pareja.

Despite divorce, Fontaine remained philosophical about love and marriage.

"Goodness knows, I tried," she said after her second marriage failed. "But I think it's virtually impossible for the right kind of man to be married to a movie star."

"Something happens when he steps off a train and someone says, 'Step right this way, Mr. Fontaine.' That hurts. Any man with self-respect can't take it, and I wouldn't want to marry the other kind."

Lawrence of Arabia dies at age 81

 Peter O'Toole, the charismatic actor who achieved instant stardom as Lawrence of Arabia and was nominated eight times for an Academy Award, has died, his agent said Sunday. He was 81.

O'Toole died Saturday after a long illness, Steve Kenis said in a brief statement.

The family was overwhelmed "by the outpouring of real love and affection being expressed towards him, and to us, during this unhappy time. ... In due course there will be a memorial filled with song and good cheer, as he would have wished," O'Toole's daughter Kate said in the statement.

O'Toole got his first Oscar nomination for 1962's "Lawrence of Arabia," his last for "Venus" in 2006. With that he set the record for most nominations without ever winning, though he had accepted an honorary Oscar in 2003.

A reformed -- but unrepentant -- hell-raiser, O'Toole long suffered from ill health. Always thin, he had grown wraithlike in later years, his famously handsome face eroded by years of hard drinking.

But nothing diminished his flamboyant manner and candor.

"If you can't do something willingly and joyfully, then don't do it," he once said. "If you give up drinking, don't go moaning about it; go back on the bottle. Do. As. Thou. Wilt."

O'Toole began his acting career as one of the most exciting young talents on the British stage. His 1955 "Hamlet," at the Bristol Old Vic, was critically acclaimed.

International stardom came in David Lean's "Lawrence of Arabia." With only a few minor movie roles behind him, O'Toole was unknown to most moviegoers when they first saw him as T.E. Lawrence, the mythic British World War I soldier and scholar who led an Arab rebellion against the Turks.

His sensitive portrayal of Lawrence's complex character garnered O'Toole his first Oscar nomination.

O'Toole was tall, fair and strikingly handsome, and the image of his bright blue eyes peering out of an Arab headdress in Lean's spectacularly photographed desert epic was unforgettable.

Playwright Noel Coward once said that if O'Toole had been any prettier, they would have had to call the movie "Florence of Arabia."

In 1964's "Becket," O'Toole played King Henry II to Richard Burton's Thomas Becket, and won another Oscar nomination. Burton shared O'Toole's fondness for drinking, and their offset carousing made headlines.

O'Toole played Henry again in 1968 in "The Lion in Winter," opposite Katharine Hepburn, for his third Oscar nomination.

Four more nominations followed: in 1968 for "Goodbye, Mr. Chips," in 1971 for "The Ruling Class," in 1980 for "The Stunt Man," and in 1982 for "My Favorite Year." It was almost a quarter-century before he received his eighth and last, for "Venus."

Seamus Peter O'Toole was born Aug. 2, 1932, the son of Irish bookie Patrick "Spats" O'Toole and his wife Constance. There is some question about whether Peter was born in Connemara, Ireland, or in Leeds, northern England, where he grew up.

After a teenage foray into journalism at the Yorkshire Evening Post and national military service with the navy, young O'Toole auditioned for the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art and won a scholarship.

He went from there to the Bristol Old Vic and soon was on his way to stardom, helped along by an early success in 1959 at London's Royal Court Theatre in "The Long and The Short and The Tall."

The image of the renegade hell-raiser stayed with O'Toole for decades, although he gave up drinking in 1975 following serious health problems and major surgery.

He did not, however, give up smoking unfiltered Gauloises cigarettes in an ebony holder. That and his penchant for green socks, voluminous overcoats and trailing scarves lent him a rakish air and suited his fondness for drama in the old-fashioned "bravura" manner.

A month before his 80th birthday in 2012, O'Toole announced his retirement from a career that he said had fulfilled him emotionally and financially, bringing "me together with fine people, good companions with whom I've shared the inevitable lot of all actors: flops and hits."

"However, it's my belief that one should decide for oneself when it is time to end one's stay," he said. "So I bid the profession a dry-eyed and profoundly grateful farewell."

In retirement, O'Toole said he would focus on the third volume of his memoirs.

Good parts were sometimes few and far between, but "I take whatever good part comes along," O'Toole told The Independent on Sunday newspaper in 1990.

"And if there isn't a good part, then I do anything, just to pay the rent. Money is always a pressure. And waiting for the right part -- you could wait forever. So I turn up and do the best I can."

The 1980 "Macbeth" in which he starred was a critical disaster of heroic proportions. But it played to sellout audiences, largely because the savaging by the critics brought out the curiosity seekers.

"The thought of it makes my nose bleed," he said years later.

In 1989, however, O'Toole had a big stage success with "Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell," a comedy about his old drinking buddy, the legendary layabout and ladies' man who wrote The Spectator magazine's weekly "Low Life" column when he was sober enough to do so.

The honorary Oscar came 20 years after his seventh nomination for "My Favorite Year." By then it seemed a safe bet that O'Toole's prospects for another nomination were slim. He was still working regularly, but in smaller roles unlikely to earn awards attention.

O'Toole graciously accepted the honorary award, quipping, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, my foot," as he clutched his Oscar statuette.

He had nearly turned down the award, sending a letter asking that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences hold off on the honorary Oscar until he turned 80.

Hoping another Oscar-worthy role would come his way, O'Toole wrote: "I am still in the game and might win the bugger outright."

The last chance came in, for "Venus," in which he played a lecherous old actor consigned to roles as feeble-minded royals or aged men on their death beds. By failing again to win, he broke the tie for futility which had been shared with his old drinking buddy, Richard Burton.

O'Toole divorced Welsh actress Sian Phillips in 1979 after 19 years of marriage. The couple had two daughters, Kate and Pat.

A brief relationship with American model Karen Somerville led to the birth of his son Lorcan in 1983, and a change of lifestyle for O'Toole.

After a long custody battle, a U.S. judge ruled Somerville should have her son during school vacations, and O'Toole would have custody during the school year.

"The pirate ship has berthed," he declared, happily taking on the responsibilities of fatherhood. He learned to coach schoolboy cricket and, when he was in a play, the curtain time was moved back to allow him part of the evenings at home with his son.

Sofia Hayat files complaint against Armaan Kohli

     Sofia Hayat has registered a police complaint against actor Armaan Kohli, her co-contestant on reality show “Bigg Boss-Saath 7”, the British actress-singer’s manager said.
     The complaint was filed on Wednesday, and it was gathered that the suit was as a result of  Armaan’s violent behaviour towards Sofia on the show.

“Sofia has filed a complaint against Armaan Kohli at Santa Cruz police station. She will be holding a press conference to discuss further plans,” Sofia’s manager told source on Thursday.

The actress was satisfied after successfully filing the complaint.

“Santa Cruz police have been very professional and courteous,” she posted on Twitter.

Sofia was evicted from “Bigg Boss Saath-7″ last week. During her stay on the show, an argument broke out between her and Armaan. Armaan ended up hitting Sofia with a mop and that left her hurt.

Armaan has been in the spotlight for his temper on more occasions than one, and he has been seen indulging in fights with other inmates as well.

The remaining contestants on the show include Kushal Tandon, Gauahar Khan, Tanisha Mukherjee, VJ Andy, Kamya Punjabi, Sangram Singh, Ejaz Khan.

President Obama at Mandela Memorial Service

How to Enjoy your senses

Senses are the communication channels between a person and the outer world.  They provide very useful information, which is the foundation of our learning.  They also warn us instantly of possible environmental dangers and provide endless mechanisms of personal protection.
     In addition to their utilitarian functions senses provide satisfaction, pleasure, and physical and psychological well-being.  Observing a forest in the midst of rocky mountains, listening to a concert, enjoying the beauty and aroma of flowers at dusk, tasting an exotic fruit shake, or feeling the ocean waves caress our back at the beach are all experiences that contribute to our mental health.
     We will do well to enjoy our senses in order to attain mental balance.  But, be careful with extremes!  Too much pleasure may make us lose our sensibility or may even hurt us.
VISION
     Your sense of vision is the greatest window to the outer world.  It also provides the most of all the senses.  Through vision one can contemplate the beautiful things in the environment.  Vision can be entertaining and bring about mental peace, especially when contemplating things in nature, in their original state.  Make plans to go our to the country.  Surround yourself with natural environments and use time to enjoy the sea, tree, plants, the skies, clouds, mountains, rivers, animals etc.
     The city dweller can also enjoy a clean and balanced urban landscape, through buildings, monuments, art and other man-made objects.  the mix of shapes and colours will directly affect your mood. Light and colour are basic elements in life.  Colours can relax you and stimulate you.  thus they affect your behaviour.  It is known that certain colours generate sensations that help gland secretions and variations in blood pressure.  It is called colour therapy.  The underlisted are colours and their effects on our life:

Red   -   Warm colour that favours adrenaline secretion, raises blood pleasure and stimulates circulation.  It entices the senses, causing one to remain active and dynamic.  It is recommended for shy people or those experiencing a low mood.

Orange  -   A mix of red and yellow, it softens the strength of red without cancelling it.  It favours optimism and activity.  an energetic, brilliant and cordial colour.
Yellow  -    Because of its brightness, it is ideal for the depressed person.  It is inviting when combined with some red tone.  Its liveliness entices optimism.  Too much of it, like that of light, may produce fatigue.
Blue   -    Cold colour that invites serenity and relaxation.  It reduces blood pressure and slows down metabolism.  It is advisable for persons who feel nervous to surround themselves with bluetone objects.
Green   -    Made up of blue and yellow, it is a very balanced colour, and produces a serene mood.  It is a natural colour, favouring rest and serving as an antidote against stress.
Purple   -   It is widely utilised in religious contexts, as it invites silence, serenity, and concentration.  Excessive exposure to this colour may cause depression as this is an intimidating colour.
Black  -    It actually is the absense of colour.  It portrays sobriety, limited tones and therefore discipline and self-determination.  Black causes sorrow, since, like all dark colours, it limits space and makes it appear smaller.  This colour may produce discomfort and even tiredness.
White  -   Unlike black, white contains all colours in the same proportion.  It is therefore equated to balance.  It makes defects obvious and offers the impression of purity and simplicity.
HEARING
     Nature provides a source of spirit soothing sounds.  A river or waterfall, the wind, the rain and the singing of birds are all examples of relaxing sounds that bring about not only pleasure, but also serenity.
     Music is also a blessing to mental health.  since ancient times, music has been utilised to lift up the spirit, bring about mental peace or set up a specific emotional state.
     Music also affects a number of physiological functions, such as blood pressure, the dilation of the respiratory pathways and the production of hormones.
     Under experimental condition, several effects of music upon patients with a variety of ailment have been observed.  results were amazing.
EFFECTS OF MUSIC TO THE HEALTH
  The following are some of the effect of music upon various area of health:
1.     Pain reduction  - in geriatric patients with arthritis (McCaffrey, 2003).  Participants in this study were administered a 20 minute musical session every day and they were compared to a control group exposed to environmental silence during the same time.  The elderly people who had been under the music condition attained 66% pain reduction according to themselves, and 50% reduction according to the control group that experienced pain at the same level.
2.     Stress treatment  - Elementary teachers (Cheek et al., 2003). A team of researcher carried out a comparison among teachers undergoing clinical psychological treatment for stress.  Half of the group received psychotherapy accompanied by music.  The other half received the same intervention but without music.  The first group achieved stress reduction in a significantly greater than the second group.
SOME RECOMMENDED THERAPEUTIC MUSICS
For relaxation - Debussy' Claire de lune, Albinoni's Adagio
For Stimulation - Verdi's  Triumphal March, Handel's Water Music, Elgar's Promp and circumstance March No.1
For sleeping - Massenet's Meditation of Thais, Nocturnal (by several composers)
Music to soothe anxiety - Vivaldi's Four Seasons, Rodrigo's Aranjuez Concerto.
TASTE
     Taste has a basic protective function: it alerts us of food in bad condition and may even guide the nutritional needs of someone suffering from malnutrition.  Moreover, taste is a source of pleasure.
    In order to take maximum advantage of this sense then you eat, it is important to try the following:
Be moderate - The secret of enjoying food is to eat moderate amounts.  Gourmets preserve an exquisite palate because they know how to stop eating on time.
Practice simplicity - Exercise the taste of simple flavours.  salty, sweet, sour or spicy foods in excess saturate taste, leading to lack of sensitivity and preventing the enjoyment of natural and simple food.
Eat slowly -  chew slowly, eat in a relaxed mood, with good company and without any rush. this will help you enjoy and notice the satisfaction point on time.
TOUCH
   The sense of touch reaches all corners of the body surface.  It is extremely useful to alert us of any danger coming from extreme environmental temperature or direct contact.  It may also be a source of pleasure, as its coverage is so extensive.
     There are many pleasurable sensations that promote physical and mental health and are directly related to the tactile sense: water baths, sun bathing, wind, breeze.   etc.
Types of Touch categorically
1.      Interpersonal touch  -  Massage with your couple, Hug your children and family, walk holding hands, display kind and warm greetings with others - shake hands, kiss, hug etc).
2.      Personal touch - Bath with water at pleasant temperature, enjoy breeze or soft wind on face and body, go out and sunbathe, spread hydrating cream over your body.
SENSE OF SMELL
     This is the preparation of special ambience that can be remembered for a many years.  The use of air freshners and perfumes can be strongly associated with life experiences and memories that can be retrieved easily with the presence of the odour.

President Obama and Selfie at Mandela Service

Among the enduring images from Nelson Mandela's massive memorial service in Johannesburg Tuesday will be one of a jovial President Obama taking a cell phone pic with his seat-mates, Denmark's Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt and Britain's David Cameron. 

As the three of them smile for the camera, a stern-looking Michelle Obama can be seen staring straight ahead, hands clasped. As if to remind anyone who sees this photo years from now that it was, after all, a memorial service for one of the great human rights leaders.

The first lady's reaction -- not just to the "selfie" but to her husband's chatting and joking with the young Danish prime minister -- was priceless. In one picture, Michelle Obama could be seen glaring over at him while he put his hand on Ms. Thorning-Schmidt's shoulder. 

In another, it appeared the first lady and the president switched seats, putting Michelle squarely between him and the PM.

After the images surged through social media, the White House on Wednesday released its own set of photos of Obama's South Africa visit. Perhaps it was no accident that among them was a picture of Obama, the first lady and the Danish prime minister. 

But in this one, Obama was talking to his wife, while Thorning-Schmidt seemed preoccupied with her phone. 

The "selfie" incident was the second unexpected controversy stirred up by the president in South Africa. Earlier, Cuban-American lawmakers publicly objected after Obama -- on his way to deliver his tribute to Mandela -- shook the hand of Raul Castro.

Benji Uba Spanks Ngige, says he should be held responsible

[ Masterweb Reports: Emmanuel Obe reports ] – In reaction to the allegation of electoral impropriety in the inconclusive Anambra governorship election levelled by All Progrssives Congress against the ruling party in Anambra State, All Progressives Grand Alliance,  a chieftain of APGA, Mr. Beji Uba,  describes the election as the best ever in Nigeria. He spoke withEmmanuel Obe in this interview.
 

Q. What is your impression about the November 16 Governorship election?


A.    The November 16th election was the best election that Nigeria has witnessed. I say this not because it did not have its own problems, but because, for the first time, nobody was able to rig the election. Those who planned to rig where utterly disappointment because of tight security. I think some of them, especially Dr. Chris Ngige of the APC are making statements out of frustration for not having the opportunity to unleash their rigging machines as they planned. May be it was a Freudian slip for Dr. Chris Ngige to complain about the so many security agencies that came into the State, simply because all that they planned were thwarted. Tell me when having adequate security has become a problem?


While I say this, may I remind you that shortly before the elction, Ngige was shouting of fake police and NYSC uniforms being sewed, those that knew him rightly predicted that for him to be shouting that meant that was what he was planning to do. Now, all the people caught during the election, including 181 persons from Osun State arrested in Imo State with fake ballot boxes, police and NYSC uniforms were all members of the APC.


Going by events that transpired before the election, Dr. Chris Ngige should by now helping security people in their investigations. It appears he knows so much
Still on my impression about the election, I can say that in terms of deployment of materials for the election and the conduct of INEC officials, I think there was a marked improvement to what it used to be.


Though a few disgruntled elements led by the bad loser, Dr. Chris Ngige are crying and rolling on the ground, distinguished Anambrarians, the Chairman of   ASATU, Dr. Innocent Onwubuya; Chairman of Ohaneze, Elder Chris Elumuno; Dr. Chukwuemeka Ezeife; Igwe Gibson Nwosu, among others who were active participants at the election have upheld its fairness.


Has it occurred to you that only APC members are against the election? Suddenly Ngige who called Ifeanyi Uba a criminal debtor and Tony Nwoye a cultist during electioneering galvanized them into protest as their spokesperson. If the same rapidity with which he united them for a common purpose is employed to unite Igbos in the National Assembly to work for Igbos, he would not have been counted among Senators that did not propose a single bill since he went to the Senate.


All in all, the election was the freest ever conducted. Security measures taken made rigging somewhat difficult. INEC also introduced some security measures that has made it difficult for people to rig.
 

Q. INEC has declared it inconclusive. Do you think it is justified?


A.    What other justification are you looking for, when they have followed what the electoral law says? It is inconclusive but valid. Rather than disobey the law and offer enemies of democracy a reason to go to Court, it is infinitely better to have a supplementary election. We support it and will participate fully.


Those who know Ngige will tell you that he is only building a case to justify his failure. By saying he is boycotting the election, he is creating the room to claim that he would have won if he did not boycott. The man is a terrible person.
 

Q. Your party is leading in the so far received results. Do you think APGA can maintain the lead and eventually win?


A.    APGA as predicted is leading comfortably. Nothing will stop APGA as far as Anambra State is concerned. The people of the State see APGA as their own identity. What else do you want them to do? Join APC? This is not possible since our needs from the country are antipodal to their own. The other day, Igbos were celebrating the possibility of a National Dialogue, only for the leader of the APC to say that it was not necessary. How they we represent their position and what our people want?


If Igbos voted the other way, it all means they have lost their sanity and are no longer worthy to be called the illustrious sons of their progeny. Why do I say so? No sane man can vote for a party that deported their people. The other day, Hon. Tony Muonago, speaking for APC kicked against the change of the name of Anambra State University to Chukwuemeka Odumwgwu-Ojukwu University. Is this the type of party that dream of winning in Anambra State?
 

Q. INEC Chairman did say the election was messed up in Idemili North Local Government Area. Do you agree with him?


A.    Prof. Attahiru Jega is a man without cant; he is one Nigerian that has not been compromised. Those of us on the ground know that the election was heavily messed up in Idemili North, but it is just one among 21 Local Government Areas and cannot be said that the messing up of the election there was substantial to call for the cancellation of the entire exercise.


Dr. Chris Ngige is from Idemili and his rigging expertise is directly related to the perennial problem that Local Government witness each time election is contested, within the Ngige Era. In 2010, he inflated the votes he got in the area by adding 10,000 votes to himself always in collusion with INEC officials. This time around, he planned all kind of rigging and magic which has become his trademark. Thanks to the Federal Government that security was water tight. When it was clear that he could not execute his nefarious plans, he, as usual, started crying. He is very good at presenting the picture of the victim, even when he is always the aggressor.


Now, the problem encountered in Idemili North was inadequate and half hazard deployment of materials. We are sure that APC colluded with some people to take away those materials. We therefore advice INEC to call back those materials and if already thumb printed, as we suspect, we know the party that were thumb printed for.


I am happy Nigerians and the people of the State now know Ngige for what he is: a terrible human being, an unrepentant liar and an old man becalmed in bad and odd ways

Q. The opposition, mainly PDP, APC and LP have called for the cancellation of the polls citing massive irregularities like missing names on voters' register, diversion of materials and non-availability of result sheets. How do you react to that?


A.    Let me ask you one question; If tomorrow, INEC says that the result of the election was not properly counted and after recounting it was discovered that Dr. Chris Ngige of the APC won, what do you think will be Ngige’s reaction? APC and Ngige will carry Jega shoulder high as the best INEC Chairman Nigeria will never have again. What I am just trying to say is that what Ngige and his ilk are doing is the acute manifestation of bad loser syndrome.


They are however insignificant when compares to Anambra people that have continued to commend the election as the best so far. Calling for the cancellation of the election is the only option available to them, since they cannot win, even if they join forces together.


Q. The parties have accused APGA, INEC and the security agencies of collaborating to rig the election. What do you have to say to that?


A.    Would Security agencies rig in favour of APGA or the PDP?   We are not strangers to Ngige’s rascality. When election was approaching, he was alleging all manner of crimes, even those he saw in his dream, against APGA. The wise Peter Obi and Willie Obiano ignored him and continued with their campign. Off course everybody in Anambra knows that whenever Ngige plans to commit crime, he will allege that another person was planning to do so.


Q. Should your party win what kind of relationship would you have with the opposition?


A.    After victory, the only party we will recognize in Anambra is the congregation of men of integrity that are interested in the development of Anambra State. We shall work with anybody who has something to offer. We shall go the extra mile to preach to people to have the disposition to work for the State and not for selfish reasons or put up the type of character consistent with Dr., Chris Ngige, whereby he is at the National; Assembly at Abuja as Senator, without contributing anything or proposed any bill or even head any Committee only to come home at weekends to cause problem and lie against his Governor.


Q. Did APGA work with the Presidency in the last election?


A.    I call on all Nigerians to work with the Presidency for the sole aim of the uplift of our country . Even when one is the opposition, he has to do it for the greater glory of our country. We must avoid what APC and people like Ngige do. Look at the Uke Tragedy; he was the one who personally sent text messages to some journalists to report what did not happen at the Adoration Ground, simply because he wanted to indict Gov. Peter Obi. He did the same thing reently by getting his Assiatnt to write news item that those protesting against the elction were shot at and killed, when nothing of such happened.
 

Q. Any other comment.


A.    We call on Anambra people to remain vigilant at all times.

Decades-old 'blue laws' ban Thanksgiving Day shopping in 3 states

As workers across America protest against working on Thanksgiving Day, laws that may date back to the Colonial era are keeping shoppers and employees in three states at the dinner table.

In Rhode Island, Maine and Massachusetts so-called "blue laws" prohibit large supermarkets, big box stores and department stores from opening on Thanksgiving.

Business groups say the laws are unnecessary barriers during an era of 24-hour online retailers, but many shoppers, workers and even retailers say they appreciate one day free of holiday shopping.

"I shop all year. People need to be with their families on Thanksgiving," Debra Wall, of Pawtucket, R.I., told The Associated Press.

The holiday shopping frenzy has crept deeper than ever into Thanksgiving this year. Macy's, J.C. Penney and Staples will open on Thanksgiving for the first time. Toys R Us will open at 5 p.m., and Wal-Mart, already open 24 hours in many locations, will start holiday deals at 6 p.m., two hours earlier than last year. In recent years, some retail employees and their supporters have started online petitions to protest stores that open on Thanksgiving — but shoppers keep coming.

Bill Rennie, vice president of the Retailers Association of Massachusetts, said many shoppers are crossing into border states that allow Thanksgiving shopping, including Connecticut, Vermont, New York or New Hampshire, which is even more alluring because it doesn't have a sales tax.

"Why not give stores in Massachusetts the option?" he told the Associated Press.

The group has backed legislation, which has so far gone nowhere, to roll back the laws and allow stores to open on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

That would include grocery stores, which also must stay closed on the holidays. Woe to the Massachusetts cook who forgets a crucial ingredient or messes up the turkey and is forced to find a replacement at a convenience store. Convenience stores are allowed to open, as are movie theaters, pharmacies, restaurants and some other businesses.

The laws do not prohibit stores from opening at non-traditional hours Friday, and some will open at midnight or 1 a.m., when holiday deals will start.

Blue laws were once widespread throughout the country and are thought to date back to Colonial times, although some of the current regulations in Maine were instituted in the 1960s. The name may be derived from an 18th-century usage of blue meaning "rigidly moral," according to the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

The rules vary among the states. Retailers smaller than 5,000 square feet can operate in Maine, for example.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are the main holidays affected in all three states, but in Massachusetts, blue laws also prohibit stores from opening on the mornings of Columbus and Veterans Day without state permission. Easter and New Year's Day are also sometimes included.

Rhode Island lawmakers have in recent years rolled back blue law prohibitions on Sunday sales of alcohol and cars, but the Thanksgiving ban remains. Maine lawmakers shot down legislation this year that would have allowed stores to open on the holiday.

Law enforcement officials in all three states said there had been no recent incidents they could recall of retailers breaking the law. In 2005, Massachusetts Attorney General Tom Reilly sent a warning letter to upscale grocery chain Whole Foods after a competitor discovered it was planning to open on Thanksgiving. In Maine, a violation is punishable by up to six months in prison and a $1,000 fine.

NBC cancels Alec Baldwin's show 'Up Late' following actor's homophobic outbursts

NBC's Alec Baldwin experiment is over 46 days after it began.

“We are jointly confirming that UP LATE will not continue on MSNBC,” the network and actor's reps said in a joint statement to FOX411.

MSNBC had already suspended Alec Baldwin’s low-rated news program last week following an alleged gay slur directed toward a photographer outside his New York City apartment earlier this month. 

Despite the actor's apologies, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) had also had enough.

“Mr. Baldwin can’t fight for equality on paper, while degrading gay people in practice,” a GLAAD rep told FOX411.

Capital One, which employs Baldwin in its “What’s in your wallet?” TV campaign, has so far done nothing to distance themselves from the hot-headed thespian. The credit card giant did not respond to multiple requests for comment from FOX411 last week regarding his status with the company. 

Baldwin’s last episode of "Up Late" hit a demo low, pulling in only 101,000 viewers 25-54 against 395,000 total viewers. The demo number represented a 41 percent drop from the 172,000 adults aged 25-54 who watched the one-hour program's October 11 debut.

California judge cuts off state funding for high-speed train venture

WASHINGTON –  A California judge has slammed the brakes on funding a pricey high-speed train project, in a move that could put the entire Los Angeles-to-San Francisco line in jeopardy. 

The ruling Monday, by California Superior Court Judge Michael Kenny, was greeted as good news by critics of the ambitious but costly rail proposal. 

Rep. Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., the House majority whip, called the high-speed train an “unworkable boondoggle” and said Tuesday he’ll work with his colleagues in Congress to deny federal funding for it as well. 

“The ruling marks yet another self-inflicted setback for the California High-Speed Rail Authority and a small victory for California taxpayers,” McCarthy told FoxNews.com. “The CHSRA has failed at every turn to detail a realistic plan that will fund this program. With no private funds, unreliable ridership numbers and the reliance on taxpayers to eventually bail the project out – it should not move forward.” 

The ruling is the latest setback for champions of high-speed rail in California. It follows a recent decision by the federal government to suspend their review of a massive loan for a separate California-to-Vegas train.

Kenny, in his ruling Monday, rejected a request from the CHSRA to sell $9 billion of the $10 billion in bonds approved by voters in 2008.

Over the summer, Kenny ruled that the state had failed to comply with requirements of the voter-approved money that would pay for the project’s initial phase. 

However, the measure also included provisions that basically said the state couldn’t start building if it had not secured all of the capital needed to create a fully operational and self-supporting first section of the line. California is about $25 billion short of what it needs to complete the first phase. 

While Kenny’s decision doesn’t immediately halt the project, it does make going forward difficult. Kenny ruled state officials failed to comply with legal requirements but chose to proceed with plans anyway.

Dan Richard, head of the rail authority, said in a written statement he saw the ruling as a positive sign and the board is reviewing the decision “to chart our next steps” -- he said “it is important to stress that the court again declined the opposition’s request to stop the high-speed rail project from moving forward.”

Elizabeth Alexis, co-founder of a Bay Area group fighting the project, told the Los Angeles Times the rail authority has been “acting as if it is above the law.”

The CHSRA, which was already a year behind schedule, had hoped to break ground on the first 28 miles of a 130-mile stretch in the Central Valley by mid-2014.

State officials say they are weighing their options and looking for ways to keep the project going but admit Kenny’s ruling could complicate construction plans.

While the ruling limits California’s access to $9 billion, the state still could technically begin building by tapping into federal money; however, experts warn it would be a big financial risk for a state that has a history of making questionable money decisions. 

Less than five years ago, the state’s coffers were so depleted that many of the public services that helped boost California into the ninth largest economy in the world were in jeopardy of shutting down.

Rod Diridon, a former rail agency board member and supporter of the high-speed train, discounted Monday’s ruling, telling the L.A. Times, “Our state is no longer used to mega projects. There are going to be a lot of impediments. So suck it up.”

Earlier this year, another proposed high-speed train connecting California to Las Vegas was disrupted after the Transportation Department halted the review of what would have been its largest taxpayer loan in history.

The project, which was a favorite of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada, came under intense Republican scrutiny, with lawmakers citing concern about “subsidizing” a costly and possibly risky project.

Hewlett-Packard Spikes as 4Q Sales Fall Less Than Feared

Hewlett-Packard (HPQ) provided fresh evidence of its turnaround on Tuesday by posting a narrow fiscal fourth-quarter earnings beat and sales that fell much less than Wall Street had feared.

The stronger-than-anticipated results along with mostly in-line guidance helped juice H-P’s shares more than 7% in after-market trading.

H-P said it earned $1.4 billion, or 73 cents a share, last quarter, compared with a loss of $6.9 billion, or $3.49 a share, a year earlier.

Excluding one-time items, it earned $1.01 a share, down 13% from the year before. Analysts had been calling for EPS of $1.00.

Revenue fell 3% to $29.1 billion, easily trumping the Street’s view of $27.91 billion. Cash flow from operations slumped 31% to $2.8 billion.

“Our Q4 results demonstrate that HP's turnaround remains on track heading into fiscal 2014. While we still have much more work to do, our business units and their core assets are delivering on HP's strategy to help customers thrive by providing solutions for the New Style of IT,” H-P CEO Meg Whitman said in a statement.

H-P said its personal systems revenue dipped 2% last quarter as commercial sales tumbled 10%, offsetting a 4% gain for commercial revenue. Desktop units dropped 5%, while notebook units increased 3%.

Printing revenue dipped 1% even as total hardware units increased 6%.

H-P’s enterprise group reported a 2% increase in revenue as growth in networking and industry standard servers offset a 17% drop in business critical systems sales.

Looking ahead, H-P projected fiscal first-quarter non-GAAP EPS of 82 cents to 86 cents, compared with the Street’s view of 85 cents.

For the full year, H-P sees non-GAAP EPS of $3.55 to $3.75, which is basically in line with forecasts from analysts for $3.65.

H-P said it returned $763 million to shareholders in the form of dividends and share buybacks during the quarter.

Shares of Palo Alto, Calif.-based H-P soared 7.89% to $27.07 in extended trading Tuesday afternoon. H-P has already soared 76% year-to-date and 99% over the past 12 months.

Microsoft’s Xbox One Sells Out After Launch

Microsoft’s (MSFT) new Xbox One video game console sold out within 24 hours of hitting store shelves, selling more than one million units to match rival Sony (SNE).

The Redmond, Wash.-based company said it’s working to replenish stock as fast as possible. The Xbox One launched on Friday to long lines outside retailers, most of which quickly ran out of the product.

Microsoft had previously disclosed that preorders of the $499 console, which launched in 13 markets worldwide, sold out.

The launch followed a successful debut a week earlier for Sony’s PlayStation 4, which also sold out and topped one million in sales.

Sony began selling the PlayStation 4 in just the U.S. and Canada. The device will be rolled out in Europe and Latin America on Nov. 29, and then in Japan on Feb. 22, 2014.

The PlayStation 4 was priced below the Xbox One at $399, although Microsoft’s console includes the company’s Kinect motion-sensing device. Using Kinect, users can control the Xbox One using voice commands and gestures.

Microsoft has also touted its console’s additional entertainment uses, such as controlling a television or streaming video programming.

Shares of Microsoft edged 24 cents higher to $37.82 early Monday morning.

Wal-Mart Stores (WMT) said Monday that longtime company executive Doug McMillon will replace CEO Mike Duke, who plans to retire early next year.

McMillon, 47, is the current president and CEO of Walmart International, a role he has filled since January 2009. He’ll officially take the helm on Feb. 1, 2014, while he was named to the retailer’s board effective immediately.

Duke will stay with Walmart as chairman of the board’s executive committee. The 63-year-old executive will also serve as an advisor to McMillon for one year.

“This leadership change comes at a time of strength and growth at Walmart,” Chairman Rob Walton said in a statement. “The company has the right strategy to serve the changing customer around the world, and Doug has been actively involved in this process. The company has a strong management team to execute that strategy.”

Duke, who joined the world’s largest retailer in 1995, has led Walmart as president and CEO since February 2009. In 2003, he stepped into the CEO role for Walmart U.S., before serving as vice chairman tasked with overseeing the international business.

McMillon was previously a top executive at Sam’s Club, eventually taking charge of the business as its CEO. He first joined Walmart in 1990 while attending college.

Shares rose 18 cents to $79.99 in pre-market trading. The stock is up about 17% so far this year.